If you have been anywhere near Twitter or any other social media over the past week, you may have heard of the latest Internet phenomenon, Rebecca Black. As I type she is still trending on Twitter (as she has been for much of the week). I had no idea who she was until I saw the name enough times for me to take notice.
It did not take much research to realise that this is not another Internet phenomenon based on admiration - quite the opposite. This young 13 year old girl has seemingly become the most hated person in America, for the alleged crime of singing the most atrocious song ever, entitled Friday. It has had the best part of 20 million views on YouTube, largely by people queuing up to sneer at it. There is clearly a shortage of people in the world to hate if this is what it has come to.
Curious to discover the level of atrocity leading to this public display of ranting and raving, I decided to have a listen and yes, the song is atrocious.
Oddly enough, I did not find myself paralysed with rage, or wanting to smash my laptop to relieve myself of this aural nightmare. In fact, poor though it is, the song is not the most obnoxious assault on our eardrums in the history of popular music. It is fairly typical of the rest of the rubbish that has polluted much of the airwaves since early 2010.
Vocals with the soul autotuned out of it? Check. Generic electronic backing track? Check. Banal and meaningless lyrics? Check. If anything, it fits in perfectly with the present music scene. Thank goodness for Adele.
It is mainly the lyrics that have been roundly condemned:-
"Yesterday was Thursday Thursday,
Today it is Friday Friday,
Gotta get down to the bus stop, gotta get my bus,
I see my friends and and we we we so excited, we so excited."
It is not hard to see why, but are they any worse than these abominations?
"I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you,
Every single day yes, i'm really missin' missin' you,
And all those things we use to use to use to do,
Hey girl, wuz up, it use to be just me and you,
I spent my time just thinkin thinkin thinkin bout you."
or
"No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart,
I wonder if I take you home, would you still be in love, baby, in love, baby
I wonder if I take you home, would you still be in love, baby, in love, baby"
or
"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps."
These crimes against literature have all been part of songs by the absurdly successful bubblegum pop act (and do not try to argue otherwise), The Black Eyed Peas. The main protagonist in this group, will.i.am has gone on to produce for many artists including Cheryl Cole and Michael Jackson, and surely made a fortune doing so.
When put into context, Rebecca Black should fit in comfortably. Bad though her efforts are, we must remember she is only 13 (What is will.i.am's excuse?). Though her song is rubbish to our ears, it would probably score at least an A minus as a GCSE music coursework project. And when I look at it like that, I cannot share the contempt that others display. I can think of many people in the world more worthy of hatred than a harmless teen.
